The last few months have been particularly hard for both Jagadish and me. A number of issues had come up that we had to deal with. While most of them remained unresolved, Valentine’s Day showed up, bright and merry.

I thought I had, for once, surpassed myself and bought him a really outstanding gift that would surprise him, but he got me something that I was really almost craving. He’s always been into gaming, and I turned from someone being blissfully unaware of video games into a casual onlooker, getting (loads of) info from him about the latest and greatest games around. So when he made his way into the US, I bought him a Nintendo DS Lite, with one of the Final Fantasy games. He soon found other games for it and I was hooked onto BrainAge and WarioWare. I absolutely loved Mario Party! I played until the end of the game-with a little help from Jagadish of course.

And so… I received a brand-spankin’-new DS Lite in red for Valentine’s. Not only does it look gorgeous and evokes ‘wows’ from anyone who looks at it, but it is incredibly easy and sooo much fun to play on! We can even hook up to Nintendo’s WiFi connector thingy and play against each other. I can only say I’m getting better at Mario Kart, but I bet I’ll beat him at it some day very soon!

Besides all the excitement of getting this awesome gift, Valentine’s, as always, reminded me of how fortunate I am to have someone out there who cares about me as Jagadish does, and someone who I care about just as much. Indeed, it happens much too often when the person you love may not love you back as much. I hope everyone who is in love and is looking for love will remember that, always.

It has been a wonderful five years with him, despite the many hiccups we continue to face. Money, fame, success, and the highly ovverrated societal ‘respect’, although perhaps important in some regards, sometimes pale in comparison to having a happy and fulfilling life.

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To me, love is a lot of comfort. It is comforting for me to know that, at the end of the day, I have a shoulder to rest on. Someone to spill everything out to. Someone I can count on to make me smile, even if I’m exhausted. Someone to simply make me feel better when I’m down, or feeling crummy for no reason at all. Someone who will understand that I need comforting, and solace, and someone who will unselfishly provide that, without asking or needing, or expecting anything in return.

Now, this reminds me that there is a most beautiful love song, by Placido Domingo, and John Denver called ‘Perhaps Love’.

Anyone who has not heard this, has surely missed out! Look it up, and listen to it, or ask Jagadish or me for it We will be happy to share it with you. Here’s the lyrics from this most touching, soothing, revealing, simply awesome song:

Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble when you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself and don’t know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel
For some a way of living, for some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on and some say letting go
And some say love is everything, and some say they don’t know

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it’s cold outside, thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

Some say love is holding on and some say letting go
Some say love is everything and some say they don’t know

Perhaps love is like the mountains, full of conflict, full of change
Like a fire when it’s cold outside, thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

I cannot agree more.

Perhaps l o v e does this to you

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As Jagadish mentioned, this is the fourth time we are celebrating this wonderful day together. I can scarcely believe that we have been together that long. Four years is indeed a long time, and even longer considering all the distance we have to transcend. I don’t honestly know though if Valentine’s is as special as manufacturers of cards etc make it out to be. On the other hand though, I would’nt say no to a romantic card, wonderful bunch of roses and some delicious chocolate! (Although, come to think of it, I did tear the very first V-day card I got into shreds and tossed it into the trash-It was a pretty long time ago and I think I thought it ridiculous at that age). What I love most about this day though is how it puts everyone into a better mood. The world would be such a better place if people just loved each other a little bit more.

This year, this day is special for a lot of reasons, but especially so because Jagadish gave me a very special gift indeed (so special it’s a secret ). Okay, not really a secret. Most everyone knows about it, really. Anyway, I don’t know how and when he thought of it, but it was thoughtful, romantic, sweet, and as perfect as it gets and I first want to thank him for his thoughtfulness and caring, and the love behind the gift; so thank you Jagadish for… everything you do!

Today was also, incidentally, my turn to present my data in a more formal & organized manner at lab meeting. It was extremely gratifying to see my PI excited about my work. If he’s excited, I’m doubly excited! My plans for taking my qualifying exam this summer are slowly but surely solidifying. It was a most satisfactory day in lab, although I did not do a single experiment. I didnt even lift a pipette, to be completely honest Hey, it’s Valentine’s–I’m allowed some slack!

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Hmm. All this though reminds me of the days when I was applying for various PhD programs. It was Jagadish who persistently encouraged me to keep on applying. In fact, the deadline for the PhD program that I am in right now was up when I chanced upon it on the web. He insisted I pursue it–call up the Program Director and talk to him, he said. That might have been the most significant incident that turned my career around. The PD first brushed me away gently, but as I told him about me and how interested I was, got interested, encouraged me to apply, later interviewed me when he came down to San Jose, called me back for an interview at San Diego, and a few days later, I was elated beyond imagination upon hearing I made the cut. I am still thankful to him for this…but this is just one of many, many things he has done and continues to do.

I hope everyone finds the love of their lives, and is able to make them their companion and partner for life. I really think you must experience true love to know how amazing it can be…even when life sucks, even when you constantly fight, even when nothing seems to go right… Love truly makes life beautiful. Happy Valentine’s Day everybody!

PS: That movie that Jagadish mentioned–really is worth a watch

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1. Valentine’s Day: #5

Valentine’s Day is a day invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.

–Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind

Eternal Sunshine is one of my favorite movies of all time. It’s an amazing movie with some brilliant lines that resonate through some good acting by Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet. It is one of those movies where you see Jim Carrey not resorting to his stupid antics and Kate is brilliant as usual. The movie is basically where a couple have a bad relationship and they try to erase their memories about the relationship(Its a fictional procedure). He starts reliving those memories that comprise the relationship from the earliest to the oldest as they are being erased. So we see the bad memories first where he is really happy that he is doing it and he starts regretting the whole thing when he starts reliving those good memories they spent together. It’s all a little surreal but a great movie nevertheless. I must’ve watched this movie a million times already learning the lines by heart. I really wanted to see this movie again on this Valentines day. I recommend this movie to all the people who have had heartbreak or been in a bad relationship or if you are just single. The movie is not about all those perfect romances we see in the movies, it’s about normal people involved in a normal relationship where there are bad things as well as there are good things. All we need to do is to try and resolve the bad while we remain happy for all the good that it has given us.
Anyway, on a more relevant note, this is our fourth Valentine’s Day together. Three anniversaries and four valentines days, its amazing how nothing has simmered down as yet. Archana has always told me how she had bad Valentine’s Days before our first. I’ve always had that in the back of my mind and I always wanted to make our Valentine’s Day a great one. I think we have been doing a good job for the past 4 years now. We have always been happy during this time of the year especially last year when Archana sent me 2 kg black forest cake. It was probably the first major surprise she had given me as a gift (I was always quite good at guessing her gifts). This year though, we went ahead and did something better. Most of you guys probably already know and there is no need to tell about it all over again . Of course it sucks that we have to be apart on a day like this but on the plus side of it, we get to celebrate it twice . For us, V-day starts 12 am my time and ends 12 am archana’s time, so we have a few more hours to douse ourselves in the celebrations compared to the usual 24 hrs time you get when you are living in the same time zone.

So here’s wishing you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope all the couples celebrate all these years of love and all the single guys/girls find love and happiness. Have a great day everyone.

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A very happy new year to all of you. So this new year, me and archana have decided to start up something new in addition to the blog we have here. I am a huge fan of web comics. I am not talking of the regular Sunday newspaper comic strips like Dilbert or Calvin and Hobbes but more like gaming web comics like Penny Arcade, Ctrl-Alt-Del. It is amazing how these people have made this their living. Especially Ctrl-Alt-Del has some really good strips which me and Archana can relate to. Not only is this about gaming but it also touches on some aspects of relationships. After seeing a couple of those comics, Archana started wondering if we can do the same thing, Archana’s new MacBook comes with a nifty application called ComicLife. Its a cool application to make comic strips. Since we had the ideas and the tools, we decided to make a web comic. Here is our first attempt at it. However, we both are amateurs at a thing like this. So we dont know the specifications like panels size and all that. The only thing we were really concerned was to make it as funny as possible Any kind of feedback will be really appreciated.

(click for larger image)

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For the fourth time since we met, it is that time of the year again: Sep 1, Jagadish’s birthday.
Our relationship [ (like his age ] has grown leaps and bounds since the first time I wished him a happy birthday. I am thankful I met him and experienced something I never imagined existed.

And so today Jagadish, on your birthday, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you a wonderful day and an even more exciting year ahead. Happy Birthday!

PS: Some things I learnt during the days leading up to today:

1. Planning ahead doesnt really work.
2. It is incredibly hard to shop for Jagadish (he’s such a simple guy!). Solution: dont shop, be creative.
3. Knowing what you want to gift does not mean you will be able to gift what you want to gift.
4. The post office still works as slow as ever. Thought increase in email would reduce the volume of regular mail and hence speed up the entire process, but no.

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Wow. I can scarely believe it has been three years. Why is it, I wonder, that at times, the days seem to zoom by, and at other times, time seems to stand still and you impatiently wait for the days to go by?

Undoubtedly, the last few months have been the roughest part of our relationship. It is so easy to fall in love, and so very tough to beat the odds and keep it going. There are so many issues we had to and still need to overcome. I’m truly thankful to God he shoved us on the same path together, and from there on, albeit rather cautiously in the beginning, we marked out a path for ourselves.

The hardest part about an anniversary is coming up with an appropriate gift, I think. There are so many occasions in a year: Valentine’s Day in February, anniversary in May, our birthdays in September, the day we met in December. No dearth of days to celebrate for sure! The downside is coming up with novel ideas for each special event to make it memorable. So this time, I’ve attempted to write a poem of sorts. I think the last time I did this was to apologize (profusely) to Jagadish for some reason I cant quite recall now. It’s amatuerish, and tries too hard to rhyme in some places, but it’s straight from the heart.

And so dearest Jagadish, this is for you.

Only you can make me feel

Strong and cool

Dizzy and weak

Ooh, my heart and soul crazily reel.

Only you can lift me this high

Make me soar, make me fly

Yet light-headed and shy

Sighhhhh.

Only you are my fated half

Fortune, providence

Destiny and luck,

I love how you make me laugh!

Only you can love me like this

Tender and caring

Gentle and giving

You have shown me eternal bliss.

Only you make me complete

Whole and full

Total and absolute

Each and every time we meet.

Only you make love so true

Real, genuine

Sincere and trusting

So every day feels anew.

Only you, Only me

Together, inseparable

Indissoluble, undividable

You and me must be meant-to-be!

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Exactly three years back, in the year 2003, in this month of May, I ran into Archana on DALnet. There were no sparks, bells or whistles like in the movies. It was just another night for me and I had come back to the channel after a long wait of 12 months. There were old friends, renewed friendships and finally a new girl by name Archana. We talked about her admission into PhD and I pretended to read her hand(virtually ofcourse) and predicted success. What happened in the next few days was not magic nor it was getting to know each other the old fashioned way. We were both subjected to a pleothora of feelings. There was a feeling of closeness and an odd feeling that we’ve known each other all our lives. We ran through our brief twenty year biographies to ensure that we were not lost friends from childhood. There were no specific links as such. We never lived at the same place at the same time so there was no way we could’ve known each other.

The feeling of closeness helped us in many ways. We were able to share things which we would’ve never been able to share with anyone else. Its never easy to confess to friends or family, it is easy for them get judgemental or prejudiced. Sentences like, “I told you so” and “you didnt listen to me” would be all too common. We were both strangers in our own miserable lives. It helped us to share our sorrows and set things right which had gone wrong. I’ve never believed in Fate or destiny. But the very reason that we’ve met each other in a crucial juncture in our life makes me want to change my mind. For me Archana has changed a lot of things. It was the single most influential event in my life which had changed the course of my life on its head. And it does make me want to believe in fate because I dont know what would’ve happened if I hadnt run into Archana at that point of time. Fate probably provided us an opportunity to get together. And what happened next was completely our doing.

What I had experienced over those first couple of weeks was comfort, happiness and most importantly trust. There were these moments when we typed each other the favourite parts from the books we read. And then discussed dialogues from movies. We had the most fun time together after a long long time. It has slowly dawned upon me that it does not matter whether you meet someone online or real. While it is possible to create an impression of something you are not online, it has never occurred to me that Archana could be dishonest. She was simple and honest. And it had never occurred to me that she could be lying about anything and she had no reason to. People who know Archana will probably agree with me on this. Her smile and simplicity are in many ways addictive. Once you talk to her, you would probably come back tomorrow to find her. And we always looked forward to talking to each other everyday.

Even though we were both sure of the kind of feelings we had for each other, we were circumspect because of the kind of past we have had. We wanted to be sure that we were not making another mistake. But the way things were going on, in the first couple of weeks, you could do nothing but throw caution to the wind. There were these co-incidences, not trivial ones like loving the same author or listening to same kind of music but it was a little deeper than that. There were these odd co-incidences like, eating raw onions, sugar with yogurt, eating meegada(the thick layer which forms on home made curd) with curry and rice and finally we shared the same initial “T”(Archana still teases me that it took me a T to realise all this). It prompted me to write a mail titled “Soulmates?!?!?!”. And I saw this as a sign, something that wasn’t just a chance occurance. I believed that this meeting was for a reason and the proposal has been already immortalised in the previous posts(Refer: My Meandering Muse). It has been an amazing transformation of our fortunes ever since. We not only found happiness in each other but a sense of meaning to our lives. So much so that we cant imagine spending our lives with anyone else.

And like I always say the first few years have been quite easy to handle. We were in madly love and time seemed to zip past us. Not that the love has reduced in anyway but we have had to make many more compromises and sacrifices in the past 6 months or so compared to the first 2years put together. We have never wanted to make this blog a relationship advice center for long distance relationships. What worked for us might not work for everyone and we’re hardly perfect to give everyone advice. Sometimes this has been a major struggle because in trying to keep this going, we’re hurting some people on the way. It would be hard for them to understand the importance of this relationship which is born on a platform where trust is feeble or non-existent. As much as we wish these things would go smoothly, its not as easy as it would all seem to be in the beginning of it all. But in the end all the trouble would only seem necessary to make a dream as good as this come true. .

And finally Archana, on this anniversary of our third year, I would like to thank you for all the love. May three become three hundred and may our love shine brighter than now. I am sure you have had to make a lot of sacrifices and things dont seem too good right now but I am sure in the end of it all, it would be worthwhile . I love you more than anything else. I hope the sun never sets on us and we keep going on and on. . Here’s for another great anniversary.

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