KEYS TO MY HEART » Changes

Eating healthy, staying healthy

Jagadish — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 22:17:43 +0000

I have never been one of those crazy health freaks. I have laughed and ridiculed people who watch their calories everyday, drinking diet sodas, eating fat-free food and drinking fat-free milk. I love good, tasty food. Having grown up in India where almost all the vegetables you eat are organic and the milk was freshly squeezed from the buffalo every morning (agreed it was diluted with water but still it was yummy). I really just hated everything I ate when I first came to US. The milk tasted like water, the yogurt didn’t taste right. The potatoes and peas were sweet. The eggs I ate had no taste and smelled too bad . Eggplants were huge and tasteless. The complaints I had about food were endless. Recently, I started going organic and that made a world of difference to the taste. Organic whole milk tastes much better than Indian milk, organics eggs = yummy; I just avoided the label ‘fat-free’ and I realized that the food in US never tasted better.

There was a downside to this whole experience. When you start avoiding fat-free label, you are getting into a territory where your food is potentially unhealthy for your body. Obviously, the trade off has always been taste and health and that’s really unfortunate. I don’t understand how we can’t have tasty and healthy food which are not fruits. You don’t really know how much of this food is polluting your body until you check your weight on a regular basis.

Recently, I started going to the gym because I realized my body needed some strength and stamina. I was always too lazy to go to the gym because it was too far away and I didn’t want to spend an hour walking there when I have about 4-5hrs of time to myself every day besides work. But, one of my friends offered to drive me back and forth every morning and I told myself why not? I started getting into the habit of checking my weight on a daily basis and I realized how much you can gain by gouging yourself on good food for just one night .

I always felt like I was a fairly healthy person. I have good immunity and I still don’t have glasses. I don’t get sick too often. But, there is always the need to improve the tone of your body and also increase the stamina. Especially at this age, where we get little to no physical activity, it is important to know what you are eating and keep yourself healthy. I still don’t get fat-free food but I limit my intake and get some exercise to burn off the excess calories .

Changes: Wanting to be married

Jagadish — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 23:11:49 +0000

I have forever detested the concept of marriage. I never understood why people needed to be married. My parents haven’t done anything to enhance my opinion on marriage either.

I have always been a solitary being. I hated to be with people and any form of company. Its not that I was a shy person or something, I’ve been able to manage myself in a crowd. Its just that I never felt lonely or sought that special someone to be with. I had always been happy with myself and had even vowed to be single forever.

I had this elaborate dream where I would be stinkingly rich, (with my brains, I always thought I would be anything I wanted to be) and that I would own this huge apartment on the top floor of a skyscraper. It would have just one room with a couch, television, balcony and a huge window on one side of the wall. When I draw the blinds open, I would have a view of the endless sky. It seemed like a perfect life to me. A life without anyone to care for and without any accountability. And I thought I would adopt someone when I feel ready for the responsibility. It seemed like a great life until Archana came along and disturbed my apple cart.

It would seem like every girl’s dream but, even as a guy, I always thought I needed someone to sweep me off my feet. Someone who would make me feel that I can’t live without her. Someone who would make me go to the ends of the earth just to touch the tip of her hair. Someone who would make me feel the need for company.

In Archana, I’ve found all this and more. Not only that, she has forever changed my view on marriage and she didn’t even have to argue with me about it. She is someone whom I truly want to be married to for the rest of my life. She is someone I want to grow old with, someone I would be willing to share my space with and give away my precious perfect dream of bachelorhood because there is nothing in this world that I want more than to be with her. And now I know the sanctity of marriage and respect the institution that has been binding people in love together for ages.

(This is part 2 of my ongoing posts on changes I’ve noticed in myself since I met Archana. You can read the Part 1 here.)

Changes: Learning Patience..

Jagadish — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 15:33:43 +0000

Not everyone is perfect. We all have our imperfections and there are things about us that we can’t help but loathe. I’m not talking about narcissists but for an average human being, we see more faults in ourselves than others do. Sometimes we even go to the extent of hating ourselves because of these imperfections. But love changes it all. You will notice things in yourself that you haven’t noticed before. It is when you start looking at yourself through the eyes of your lover, you realize that you aren’t so bad after all.

If someone asked me who is the worst person on earth, I would gladly raise my hand and put my name first on the list because I know myself all too well and a really bad memory to remember it all (blessed are the people who can forget their mistakes easily). But ever since I met archana, I’ve done nothing but love myself. She has been a huge boost to my self-esteem. I thought I would list a few changes(both good and bad) I’ve seen in myself over the past few years since archana came into my life.

Learning Patience:

One of the first things that probably changed was my level of patience. I’ve always been eternally impatient. If i wanted something, I wanted it now and if I had to wait, I’d rather not have it at all. Yes, I was very spoiled being the first born and some sort of a child prodigy, I got preferential treatment everywhere I went. But the impatience changed the moment I met archana because I knew things would not happen in a hurry and that it would be a long long wait before we are finally together. Patience is extremely important in a long distance relationship because the distance will start showing on you eventually and at least one of the partners have to learn to bear the brunt to keep things in check, so you don’t lose the sight of the long term goal. I learned to be patient because as cliched as it might sound, good things come to those who wait. I am sure all this will pay off in a good way sometime in the future. (Archana, you better make sure it does ). I am not saying that I never lose patience. Like I said before, we all have our faults and I lose it to the silliest of things sometimes. But all is good in the end, we cant stay angry with each other for long.

So if you are in a long distance relationship, my advice would be to learn to be patient. I know that there is always a hurry to get together and get your life started as quickly as possible and the sight of couples walking hand-in-hand will always make you long for that feeling. If you know that he/she is the one for you, be patient and it will be really worth it when you are finally in their arms.

Of similarities and differences

Archana — Sat, 17 Jun 2006 17:16:00 +0000

Jagadish has mentioned how several odd coincidences brought us together initially. As we discovered each other, we also found several things that we thought about very differently from each other.One of the really cool things about Jagadish is his vivid, unbound imagination. He can come up with absolutely creative ideas (of which you saw an example in the blog where he wrote a story!). That was probably entirely imagined spotted with bouts of reality here and there. He had asked me to continue on with that, and I drew a complete blank! I just cannot imagine like he does.

When we first met, he would teach me how to write in telugu ie the alphabet on Yahoo! Doodle. Everyday he’d teach me a few alphabets, and I’d attempt to recreate the swirls and ticks and other complicated maneuvers to make it look just right. The next day, he’d ask me to doodle the ones I learnt the previous day. Very sadly, I think my retaining ability was just under 50% And, we didnt get very far on the alphabet before we fell in love and that has since been shelved Perhaps some day we will get down to it again and I will finally learn how to read and write in Telugu.

I dont know very much about Indian mythology. Hinduism has so many Gods and so many avatars, that it’s near impossible to know everything about each. I knew a few stories from what I read or heard here and there. On Ganesh Chathurti, Mom used to read out the origin of the Lord Ganesh every year, so that is one story I do know. Jagadish has a complete repertoire of stories at his disposal. It amazes me how much he knows about this stuff. I love hearing all the stories he tells me. He says he read this 800 page book (in Telugu, I must add) called Bhagavatam (I hope I spelt that accurately). I only read Secret Seven, Famous Five, and those school girl books that Enid Blyton wrote. There was one set of adventures she wrote about this guy called Fatty, and a cop called Goon who hated Fatty. Hm, does anyone recall what it was called?

For a long time since we met, Jagadish and I would start off by saying something and discover that the other liked the exact same thing. Jagadish, like his normal somewhat pessimistic self, put it aside as being mere coincidences. And finally, we got around to our last names at one point and discovered they both started with a T. That freaked him out. As he put it to me, it was strange that it took a “T” (on top of all the other things of course) to convince him that there might be something going on. Destiny, he suggested it was. Of course, we are naturally similar in many ways, in our likes and dislikes, and that played an important part in drawing us closer.

However, equally as naturally, we quickly found out there were differences. There are simple things: different castes, for one. I strictly adhere to vegetarianism while Jagadish didnt really. Since then he’s quite sportingly given up all that to turn veggie I’m far more social than he is. He would be perfectly happy with a computer and a video game to go with it. I like to hang out with friends and have fun generally (nothing too fancy; just movies, the beach etc). He doesnt quite approve of that–especially since I have several male friends He, I think, in a lot of ways is far more conservative than I am (reminds me of Mom a lot of the times).

But apart from this, one of the major things I think is different about us is in how we react to a situation. I am a more reactive person than he is. I like to see action; to see things get done, while he’s quite content to let things take their own course. It is often the cause of disagreement between us. I cant see his point of view and I cant get him to see mine. That reminds me; another difference is in how we get angry. When I’m angry, I tend to clam up and shut out myself. Jagadish on the other hand, is perfectly happy to reveal what’s on his mind in a rather rude and brash way. If I say I’d do something, I’d go to any lengths to at least attempt to do it, rather than reason out why it hasnt been done. I dont think Jagadish is like that-he is far more passive than passionate, thoughtful rather than active.

It is this basic difference perhaps that makes us disagree on a lot of things. Jagadish always seems to think his way is better, and obviously, I dont always agree. And so the arguments go on! Not a dull moment when he’s around.

Ten favorite things about my guy

Archana — Wed, 19 Apr 2006 04:26:00 +0000

I’m not going to retaliate and rattle off 10 things I hate about Jagadish. And this, for 2 reasons–one, the things he said um, are, um, probably true (sigh) and two, I can only think of 2-3 things off the top of my head that I absolutely dislike in him. I’ll have to think hard and long to come up with more than that, I think. What’s much easier is composing a list of things I do like about him, or about us. And so that is what this blog is all about. Ten (I’ve got to limit myself so I dont go overboard!) favorite things about him (in no particular order). I hope I dont embarass him. Or maybe I hope I do

Here goes!

1. When we pretend to study together, how I glance up to catch him staring at me (via webcam, of course). And how 5 minutes later, when I look up again at him, he’s still staring at me with a silly smile on his face.

2. How when I smile at him, he catches my eye and his face suddenly breaks into a smile. I love to see him smile.

3. How he looked absolutely stunned when we first met and yet was gentlemanly enough to walk on the hot tiles at Birla Mandir, while letting me walk on the cooler, shaded surface. (I’ll never forget that day). How chivalrous!

4. How he wakes me up every day around 6 AM. And I must add it’s not always in a very romantic manner (sigh) but it’s something I have grown so used to that it’s hard to wake up if it isnt him waking me up. I look forward to talking to him every day, first thing in the morning!

5. How he manages to find time to spend with me despite the harrowed life he’s living.

6. How he predictably says, “Enti, ippudu call chesav?” (=Kya hai, ab kyon call kiya?) when I call him unexpectedly. I always kid him about that and he has now resolved not to say it Successfully, I should add.

7. How he feels soooo shy about saying “I love you” when someone is around. Of course, I push and prod him to say it but aw, it’s adorable! He’s gotten a lot better at doing that nowadays though!

8. How I am the one and only person he absolutely and totally believes in, trusts in, and confides in. It makes me feel wonderfully special that I have an irreplaceable spot in his life.

9. How he can’t stand to fight me or be angry with me for too long and makes up quickly even if it was me who made the mistake.

10. How it took me 5 minutes to type all that up

Well, there’s probably more. And I absolutely agree with Jagadish about us complementing each other. If he’s lazy and stubborn, I’m the ultimate pusher. I never give up I’m surprised he didnt put that down as being annoying. I would think it very annoying if anyone did that to me! I think I’ve said too many good things about him so I will put a stop to it right here.
What’s next Jagadish?

Thing I hate about you..

Jagadish — Mon, 17 Apr 2006 16:53:00 +0000

Archana is probably trying to pay me back for all the compliments I paid in my first post. Not to be modest, I’ve seen archana change over the past few years I’ve been with her. If you compare the dull and depressed archana I ran into, to the one I’m with right now. I find no comparison at all. The ebullience and charm that runs through her veins now was only visible in glimpses when we were first together. The transformation still amazes me.

Oddly enough, the things I liked about her are the things that bother me a lot too. Which of course brings us to the topic of the blog. Here is a short list of things I hate about archana. Even though these are not the things I’d wish she would change about herself, its something that annoys me once in awhile.

1. Assertiveness: Rather the lack of it, she is probably the nicest girl on earth. And I can say it is her bane. She can never say “No” to anything or anyone. And for this reason, I sometimes feel that some people who call themselves friends of hers are using her for their needs.

2. Boldness: Another characteristic she lacks in. She is always hesitant about a confrontation unless things go out of hand. She seem to have the knack of suffering in silence even if she is on the right side. I believe this is embedded into the minds of every Indian girl by her parents . Nobody fights, they just blame themselves for everything that happens. Lack of boldness has made a lot of people get away with major things in her life. If I was anywhere closer, I’d have ground their bones to powder. Bala if you’re listening watch out dude. Ofcourse there are the bothersome roomies too.

3. Correcting Spelling mistakes: I’ll probably get some support over here. I know there are probably legions of people suffering from this irksome trait. It is probably the most annoying thing to be told the right way to spell after you’ve had instruction in English for 20 odd years. I mean we all how to spell Foreign. If I spell it foregin, it doesn’t mean I don’t know how it spell it, its just a typo. And sometimes we just misplace I’s and that’s probably common for most guys too. I know some ppl are nodding already.

4. Guys: Probably something we’ll never have end to. Its one thing that bothers me one hell of a lot. The fact that she enjoys the company of guys and trusts them so easily irritates me. I mean there is obviously the jealousy part because the guys get to spend sometime with her than me, also there is the other thing about the kind of guys who she spends her time with. Guys are not always like they seem. They usually try the nice way to get what they want. Being a guy, I feel I know the mentality of guys better than she does.

5. Naivete: You’d fall in love with the childish innocence of hers. But the same innocence on the wrong side will be an absolute torment. She does have the right manners and such but I think she takes strangers into confidence too early without any pretensions. Never wary and easily trusting. Infact, she’d take a business card from a perfect stranger

6. Forgetfulness: I don’t have to elaborate on this point really. Being a PhD student, forgetfulness is something one has to deal with but I think archana had this trait built into her. Maybe this helped her case at the admissions to PhD.

There are probably more but I’d rather end here since I started off saying a short list. This not a fault finding exercise which we Engineers are usually very good at it. But the idea was to prove that even though we’re madly in love with each other, there are a lot of annoyances. The beauty of the relationship is not being to able to love the similarities but to contend with the annoyances and make up for what the other lacks in. In a way, we complement each other in most things. While she is forgetful, I try to remember things for both of us. While she is naive, I try to put her on guard all the time. That, I feel, is what made us stick to each other for so long. .