KEYS TO MY HEART » Places

Love conquers (a lot, if not everything)

Archana — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 21:12:46 +0000

Recently, I read this really amusing, and rather sweet article.The article talked about when the author first met her future husband, she was suffering from a bad bout of the ‘flu. She looked terrible, and yet beautiful to him (or so he said!). Anyway, she goes on to talk about how she kept expecting him to turn off his “Nice Guy” attitude and break her heart, like all the other guys she dated. But that never happened. And they’re still happily married.

Don’t we all expect the worst to happen when we have something too good to be true with us? I feel fortunate, and I’ve written about this a lot, that I have found someone amazing in Jagadish. For the longest time, however, I expected the worst. We met in quite an unorthodox fashion, we barely spent any time being friends, but we somehow knew it was meant to be. I did not know how our future was going to play out. And to some extent, we still don’t.

The author also talks about how they, together, have built a life for themselves. And it’s not perfect, but, as Jagadish might say, who cares? Jagadish and I share a far from perfect relationship ourselves. We are two very different people, and yet very very much the same in so many ways. I think it’s stupid to expect that a relationship–any relationship–is going to be picture perfect, with no fights, and all fun. I think, like the old saying goes, that makes for a very rainy, dull day. It’s not to say that I enjoy our fights, but we do argue. Sometimes, when we think about it, it’s rather funny. We can’t remember why we argued or what started it all. Other times, it’s all too clear, and it ends up badly all over again. But when we do argue, I don’t usually ever feel like he hates me. He is actually incredibly mature (way more than me), calm and puts things in perspective. I expected that mask to drop off one day too, but to this day, he is still like that. He knows how to reveal his point of view, without being mean, and vicious.

Relationships are built with love. They are strong, and they are fragile at times. They don’t come easily, and when they do, they aren’t perfect. But when you can open up your heart and see beyond the fight and arguments that seem so important, and see how much better the world around you is because of that one person, it makes everything shrink in comparison.

Over the weekend, I watched ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’. As many of you who watched might remember, this guy falls in love with a girl whose family is very Greek. The father then forbids her from seeing the guy and tries to get her to meet all these other Greek men that he likes, and wants her to marry. Still, she sneaks out to meet the guy she loves. And this is a 29-30 year old woman! Well, when nothing works, the father breaks down. He is at a loss and talks with her mother–”Why is she doing this to me?” and “Is this what I raised her for?”, and the mother, trying to be gentle, and comforting even though she too is hurting, just says something along the lines of this: “They are in love. It happens sometimes. They did not mean for it to happen that way. What can we do?”And the girl too is torn. Torn between her parents and the one she loves. She tells him, “When I’m with you, I am so so happy. But when I’m with you, my parents are so unhappy.”

Sometimes that is the sort of understanding you want and you seek from parents. You look up to them all your life, wishing you could just be like them, knowing they are right the many times you were stubborn enough not to listen to them. And then there are other times like the ones I described above, when you in the very deepest part of your heart just know how you feel. How can you ever convey that across?

Love and beautiful relationships don’t come easy. Life is complicated enough, without bringing in additional burdens and chasms of religion, caste, creed, color, societal status, financial status, education level… where do these chasms end? This self-imposed divide has to be crossed at some point. Above all, we are all human, we are all creations of God, and we must never forget that.

Life at IIT-M

Jagadish — Fri, 09 May 2008 15:24:03 +0000

This video pretty much sums up the life of an IITian. Of course, not everyone gets lucky enough to study with a girl. This made me really nostalgic, having spent most of my adult years at IIT. Enjoy

If cricket were a religion, Sachin Tendulkar would be God.

Jagadish — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 00:29:16 +0000

Well, in India at least, I can safely say cricket is a religion. And Sachin Tendulkar is, if not God, somewhere very close to it in this religion. I stayed up last night to watch India take on Australia in the first final of the CB series, and boy, was it worth it or what! I have been a perpetual fan of Sachin. The great ones always have many critics and Sachin, unfortunately, was no exception. Despite all that, and despite a groin niggle, last night he showed us just what he is capable of. When Sachin plays like that, the opposition and the world, both, can only watch! Wow, what a show that was.

Watching the match, however, reminded me of the importance of some common interests being present within a couple. It’s awesome that Jagadish enjoys watching cricket too, for example. When I get all excited about a match, or want to talk about our team’s composition, or, some particular individuals in the team (!), it’s good to have someone to share it with.Although it would be great to share a lot of other things with him (I’d curl up to a Hindi movie any day, and he’d rather not), sometimes, it’s good to be different and enjoy your own stuff. I’m reminded of this TV show ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ in which Raymond is the kind of guy who would rather play golf than do anything else in the world. Debra, his wife, thinks is a wonderful idea if she went along with him to play golf so that would give them some time together.Of course, that pretty much ruins golf for Raymond, but again, my point is that while you don’t need to enjoy everything together, it is still important to enjoy things that are close to your heart. It will make the whole experience so much more fun!

Love in India: Salim-Anarkali

Archana — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 05:56:40 +0000

This is part II of the series I had begun with Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal. Another beautiful love story.

I confess I havent seen the movie, Mughal-e-Azam. I don’t quite know what the story of that movie is either, but what I do remember is that famous song, ‘Pyar kiya to darna kya?’ (that translates to ‘When in love, why fear?’). The movie, however, is about the great Mughal empire rule that occurred in India, the emperor Akbar’s son Salim, and his love Anarkali.

There’s several versions of this story, and many even believe this is merely a legend and not factual. However, the fact that it exists and has been passed on and survived many hundreds of years makes it worthwhile to remember. Here is how I’ve heard the story told:

The son of the great Mughal emperor Akbar, Salim, fell in love with an ordinary but beautiful courtesan Anarkali. The name, by the way, was not the one she was born with; she was christened Anarkali later and it literally means ‘pomegranate bud’. Anyway, he was so mesmerized by her beauty and fell in love with her. The emperor, however, could not stand the fact that his own son was in love with an ordinary courtesan. It is said that Akbar tried many different ways to dissuade Anarkali from encouraging Salim. When Salim heard of this, he was so outraged that he declared war against his own father. Akbar’s mighty army was, of course, no match for his and he was sentenced to death.

Heart-broken, Anarkali renounced her love, and Akbar instead had her entombed into a wall, still alive. (How cruel they used to be back then!) Salim was made to watch this happen. Some variations of the story end here. Others insist that Anarkali did not die, and found a secret passageway through which, unknown to Salim, she escaped from the tomb, from the city, never to return.

So much has changed in this world since then. I belive the Mughal Empire existed around the 1600s. It is 2007 now. And love, sadly, still does not have a welcoming place in the society of India.

Love in India: Shah Jahan & Mumtaz Mahal

Archana — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 12:12:49 +0000

Who was it that once said, “All the world loves a lover”? Well, whoever it was, he/she must certainly not have come from where I do. The part of the world where I come from hardly loves a lover.

It is, I think, a little strange that falling in love and wanting to marry someone of your own choice, rather than your parents’ in India is considered, well, somewhat of a taboo thing to do. Why should it be this way? And how did it come to be this way? Hinduism never preached that it was wrong or immoral to love another. (In fact, I’m quite sure it is the opposite).

In every language spoken in India, there is a word for love. In fact, the mother of most languages borne in India, Sanskrit, is supposed to have ninety-six words for love! It is the land of many love stories, buried in the past. There are mythological stories too, about Gods and who they fell in love with. These stories have touched and inspired me and made me think, and so, in the next couple of weeks, I plan to blog about some of these stories that I know of.

I will start with perhaps the most famous of them all. The story of Shah Jahan and his beloved Mumtaz Mahal that reflects the intensity and passion love can bring about. This is how the story goes:

Prince Khurram met Arjumand Banu at a bazaar. She was trying to sell him a piece of glass she insisted was a diamond for Rs. 10,000. The prince was so smitten that he not only purchased the diamond, but went straight to his father to announce to him that he wanted to marry her. Their wedding took place five years later, and they became inseparable. Arjumand was bestowed the name ‘Mumtaz Mahal’, meaning the ‘jewel of the palace’. And that she was, for Shah Jahan entrusted her with many matters. It is said that she became his political adviser and often accompanied him on his military campaigns.

Less than 20 loving years later, however, she died in childbirth. Shah Jahan, heartbroken, resolved to make a monument that would forever be a symbol of the love they shared. Mumtaz Mahal was buried in the Taj Mahal which took nearly two decades to be made. Upon Shah Jahan’s death, he too was entombed in the Taj, next to his beloved wife.

It remains today, a memento of love, with the perfection of art. This is a story of devotion and faith, and of undying love, encased in the wondrous beauty of the Taj Mahal.